Regrets and Returns
by Lilliana-Lissa HathawayDavid97
Summary: Her biggest regret is leaving him. His biggest fear is that she'll never return. It's been 2 years since she left. And now she's back. Why did she leave? And now that she's back, can things ever be like they used to? Sorry, really bad summary, but please read. Slightly AU. Everlark
1. Chapter 1

As time goes by, I think about the time I lost, the time _we_ lost. And now it's too late to get any of it back. Too late for me, anyway. He can marry the girl he's with now, have children, grow old watching his grandchildren play. I won't be that lucky. I left him for too long. I kept him safe for too long. And now I won't ever be able to hold him in my arms again, because now he's with someone else. I should have seen it coming, really. He is at the top of most girls 'dream boyfriend' list. I left him because being with him was putting him in danger.

But he doesn't know that. He can never know that. Not now. I was stupid to think he would wait so long. Two years is an awfully long time for two 18 year old kids. The only good thing is that he doesn't know I'm back. He doesn't know how much it hurt me to disappear on him, and everyone else in Twelve, and how much I _knew_ it would hurt him. I but hurt him anyway. Because if I hadn't, he would be dead, and I can't live in a world where The Boy with the Bread doesn't exist.

At least I came back to see that he is safe, and happy, and now I can leave again. It's going to be even harder to leave this time, now that I know to leave is not to protect those I love, but to leave the one I love most in this world to be happy with a girl who is not me.

As I turned away from the bakery window, I swear the boy, or should I say _man_ now, glanced up from the cake he was icing, and caught my eye. I quickly broke the eye contact that made my heart ache to go into the shop and touch him, and ran away from the bakery, speeding through the square, with tears spilling down my face. I sped to the one place I knew no one would find me. The place only my father would have known where to look for me, but he's long gone. He was the first casualty before I ran away, to keep everyone else that I loved safe.

I slipped under the fence, through a hole that had been there for years, and just kept running until, at last, I reached the little shack near the lake my father and I had found when I was 5 years old. As soon as my eyes focused on the fresh shoots of Katniss tubers sticking out of the lake, I broke down and sobbed.


	2. Chapter 2

Regrets and Returns – The Hunger Games (Everlark)

It has been 2 years. Two years since she left. Two years since she ran away, after her father was murdered. Two years since I've looked into those beautiful grey Seam eyes, since I ran my hands through her long, silky dark tresses, kissed her luscious pink lips.

Every day, I hope and pray that maybe today, maybe today is the day that she'll come home. The day I'll see her again. Every day, for the last two years. The day she left was the day of her father's funeral. She cried the whole day, understandable of course when one has just lost their father, especially to such tragic circumstances. I stayed by her side the whole day, like any good boyfriend should, and walked her home. She was still crying on our way back to her house in the Seam, from the Justice Building in the town square, but every so often, she would start muttering things under her breath, "It's all my fault. I should have listened to him." It worried me, but because she was so stressed, I didn't push her. When I dropped her off at her house, into the care of her mother and sister, I kissed her softly good-bye, and left her for the night, promising that I would stop by tomorrow, to see how she was doing.

That was the last time I saw her.

The next day, when I arrived at her house to check on her, her mother was frantic with worry and her sister, Primrose, was just running out of the house, with tears pouring down her face. Her mother broke the news to me.

"Katniss is gone. All her things are missing as well. It looks like she's run away. Peeta, I'm sorry."

I immediately went out to help Prim search for Katniss, but she must have left late last night, because we could find no signs of her anywhere. Not in the town, or in the Seam, or near the mines. Prim and I even scoured the woods, although neither of us knew where to look, because we had never been with her in the woods when she wanted to be alone, so basically it was just a stab in the dark.

That day has stayed with me, and I can still recall it in pristine detail, for 2 years, and still never once have I believed she didn't have a good reason for leaving. All the other girls in Twelve, since Katniss was "out of the picture" as they all said, tried to "ease my sadness", but I was never interested in any of them. They weren't my Girl on Fire. The only girl I even let get remotely close to me was Madge Undersee. We had been friends since we were little, and the only reason I would spend any time with her was because she wasn't trying to make me forget Katniss, and maybe because she was Katniss' best friend. She knew I still loved Katniss, and missed her with all my heart, and understood, because she missed her best friend too. Besides, Madge had a boyfriend, Katniss' cousin and hunting partner, Gale Hawthorne.

It was today, exactly 2 years after she left, that I was lost in my thoughts, decorating cakes for this week's window display, wallowing in my ever-present grief, just after Madge left, after our yearly 'we miss her so much' hug and I had kissed her on the cheek, when I felt the presence of someone staring through the window at me. There were no cakes in the window at the moment, because I was doing the new ones right now, so they must be staring at me. I glanced up just as the person was turning away, but my eyes locked with hers. They were instantly recognisable. Those Seam grey eyes, flecked with silver that made them so unique. The eyes snapped away from mine, and the girl, or should I say _woman_ now, turned on her heel, and fled across the square, with me still frozen in shock. It was her. She was finally home, after 2 years of hoping and praying, she was home. One word escaped from my mouth, her name.

"Katniss."

~THGxTHGxTHG ~

As soon as I snapped out of my frozen state, I yelled to my older brother, Bray, to take over the shop for a while, before throwing off my apron, and sprinting out of the bakery, after the one I loved more than anything else on this planet. I followed her as she made her way through the Town, and then past the Seam, and through a hole in the fence, leading to the woods. I followed her through, but because I was so much taller and broader than her small, slim figure, my arms and shoulders got scratched on the way through, but I didn't take any notice. Only one thought consumed me, and that was the thought of catching up to her, of holding her in my arms again, of kissing her again. I kept her in sight as she crashed, almost blindly through the forest, as if she were on autopilot. She was a lot faster than me, and I almost lost her a few times. And then, I did lose her.

I tripped over a tree root, and swore as I lost her from my sight. I got straight back up, but I couldn't keep up the same pace that I had been going at before. Losing her meant that I had to find her by my not-so-favourite method of searching. Trying to track. A few times Katniss had taken me into the woods with her when Gale hadn't been able to go with her. She tried to teach me how to track game, but I had never been very good at it, and so I would normally be delegated the task of collecting edible and medicinal plants that Katniss taught me about. But I resolved myself to trying. For her. I would do anything for my Girl on Fire.

As I looked around me, a few things stood out to me. There were two big bushes with their branches laden with blackberries and strawberries, covered by nets; my guess is that Katniss and Gale did it to keep the birds away so they could get a bigger crop to sell at the Hob. As I kept looking around I saw a large twig, snapped in half and more branches hanging snapped off and hanging off a tree. I thought that might be my best bet. I started to walk in that direction, taking notice of all the snapped branches, and trodden grass. At one point, on one side of a small stream, I saw a Katniss-sized footprint in the mud. I kept following her trail, until I started to hear sobs, heart-wrenching sobs, that I had heard only twice before. Once when she found out her father was dead, and the other, on her father's funeral. I cleared the last of the trees and looked around, vaguely noticing an old shack, and small lake, before my eyes focused on her. Her back was towards me, and her shoulders were shaking with sobs.

I walked slowly towards her, and her head snapped up, her hunter's ears alerting her to the noise of my footsteps. When I was about 3 metres away from her, Katniss turned her body, and finally looked in my direction. I stopped walking, and looked at her. Really looked at her, just as she stared at me. Her hair, worn in its usual braid, was longer than it used to be, reaching her waist instead of the middle of her back, and she looked thinner. She had dark circles around her eyes and her cheekbones were more prominent. But her eyes were the most startling. Instead of the laughter and mischief that was normally held in her grey eyes, they only held sadness and emptiness. But she was still Katniss, and she needed me.

"Katniss." I whispered, and her tears started again.

"Why are you here?! Why did you follow me?! Can't you see I want to be left alone?" Katniss yelled. She looked so empty, and hurt. I wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her like I used to do whenever she was upset. It tore my heart out.

"Katniss. You're back. I knew you'd come back." I said, almost crying myself. I moved a step closer, and she scrambled to her feet, stepping back a step to keep the same distance between us.

"Peeta. Please. Leave me alone." She begged, and my heart broke.

"You're home." I stated. It was like a mantra to me. If I say it enough now, it might not turn out to a dream.

"No, I'm not. I'm leaving again." Katniss whispered, in a voice now devoid of all emotion.

"No! You can't leave! Not when you've been gone for 2 years! I lost you once; I can't lose you again, Kat." I exclaimed, tears now spilling from my eyes.

"You don't need me, Peeta. You've moved on, I'm not an idiot. What would Madge say if she knew you were with me right now?" Katniss said softly, tears never slowing.

"Madge? What are you talking about, Katniss? I could never be with anyone but you. I love you too much to even think about being with anyone else!" I was confused. Why would she think that I was with Madge?

"I saw you with her Peeta." She admitted softly, defeated. "She was with you when I was outside the bakery. I saw the hug, and you kiss her cheek." I know I shouldn't have, but I started laughing.

"What are you laughing for?!"Katniss growled, at me. I sobered immediately.

"That was nothing Katniss." I said. "She is one of my best friends, and she was there for me when you left." Cue flinch from both me and Katniss. "She was hurting almost as much. And we comforted each other. Nothing has ever happened between us. Besides, Madge has a boyfriend." I explained, and Katniss seemed to let out a breath she had been holding. I moved closer to her, and this time she didn't move away. I moved closer until I was close enough to touch her face.

"There is only one girl in this world that I could ever love, Katniss. You should know that. I've told you that many times." I whispered. Katniss looked into my eyes, and hers were a little less sad. She gave me a watery smile.

"But there's no way you can forgive me for leaving you. I know I hurt you, and there is no excuse for hurting the most important person in your life." She whispered and looked down at the leaf-strewn ground. I used my other hand to lift her chin so that she was looking at me again.

"I forgive you. I know that you had your reasons, and know you'll tell me when you're ready. I trust you." I told her, and her eyes widened. I don't think she believed that I had actually forgiven her.

"But–" I didn't let her finish. I crashed my lips into hers, and had the pleasure feeling her jump slightly before relaxing in to the kiss. It wasn't an overly passionate kiss, just me pouring all my love for her and how much I missed her into it. She reached up and locked her arms around my neck, and I didn't want her to let go.


End file.
